Crush On Obama Fades After First Year • Girl Scientist Invited To White House


• Breakups hurt. Amber Lee Ettinger, aka Obama Girl, says she’s disappointed in the President’s first year, and would like to see him focusing more on “jobs and the economy.” •

• A 35-year-old ex-model has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against his female coworkers. He claims they rubbed their breasts in his face and propositioned him. The most puzzling thing about this article? His career in “follicle replacement.” • The arraignment for a 28-year-old “gold digger” was postponed yesterday after Cher Thompson (the aforementioned swindler) collapsed at the sight of photographers. Thompson managed to steal some $200,000 from her disabled 64-year-old husband, Howard Zeimer, who she was cheating on with 90-year-old John Grant. Say it with me now: We want prenup! • New research on women with Down Syndrome suggests that early menopause can be linked to early onset of dementia. Findings – which researchers believe can be translated to similar results for the general public – showed a strong relationship between the age of menopause and the age at which Alzheimer’s is diagnosed. • The Church of England has offered to pray for nervous couples on the day before their wedding. “Your wedding day is the best day of your life. The last thing you want is to feel terribly nervous, worry about a speech or fret about the arrangements,” said Reverend Rosie Harper. • Two victories for same-sex parents today: 1. A Florida judge has ruled that a lesbian woman can adopt a child, despite the state’s ban on gay adoption. “There is no rational connection between sexual orientation and what is or is not in the best interest of a child,” said Judge Maria Sampedro-Iglesia. 2. The Pennsylvania Superior Court has overruled two earlier decisions which limited the rights of gay parents. The ruling stated that the previous cases did not consider the best interests of the child, but instead were built upon misconceptions and prejudice. • High school senior (and major science genius) Li Boynton has been invited to sit next to Michelle Obama tonight at the State of the Union Address. Even though she’s young, Boynton has already made some important contributions to her field, including devising a new way to test water for pollutants. • Joe Wilson says he will do his best to bite his tongue at the SOTU tonight. “I am a gentleman. My natural inclination is to be on my best behavior,” he said. “I have the highest respect for the president, and I certainly look forward to the speech.” Wonder where that “respect” was last year. • Researchers say “herbal use” is up among pregnant women, but they aren’t talking about Mary Jane. Ginger, ephedra, and herbal tea are the most commonly reported herbs. • It’s hard out here for a clown – spending on children’s birthday parties has declined sharply since 2008. • Who’s the Top Dog in the US? It’s the Labrador Retriever, according to the American Kennel Club’s annual survey. Labs have been the dog of choice for almost two decades. • Bad Romance: A registered sex offender, believing he was speaking to a sixteen year old, scheduled a sexual tryst/statutory rape session online. When he showed up (carrying a 36-pack of Trojan condoms and Lady Gaga’s “The Fame Monster” CD), he was arrested by an undercover officer. •

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