Dangerous Anti-Capitalists Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, and Mike Lee Are Trying to Cancel Baseball

Dangerous Anti-Capitalists Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, and Mike Lee Are Trying to Cancel Baseball
Image:Win McNamee (Getty Images)

I learned one thing at my rural, public high school in the Deep South, and that thing is this: God hates socialism but loves capitalism and baseball. That might be two things, or even three. I’m not sure because I’ve already stated the things I learned.

But given what I do know, the fact that Senators Ted Cruz of Texas, Mike Lee of Utah and Josh Hawley of Missouri are trying to punish Major League Baseball for moving its All-Star Game out of Georgia in response to new, racist voting restrictions is anti-Capitalism and therefore anti-America (and possibly Satanic but I’ll leave that for the preachers to debate). According to NBC News, the Senators have come out in favor of ending MLB’s anti-trust exemption after the decision to move the Midsummer Classic from Atlanta to Denver, a place that is less officially racist. Senator Ted Cruz explained his decision by stating fairly plainly that he would like the government to punish a business for not (I’m so sorry to do this) playing ball with the Republican party:

“‘This past month, we have seen the rise of the woke corporation. We have seen the rise of big business enforcing a woke standard,’ Cruz told reporters. ‘That decision was harmful. It’s going to hurt baseball. But it also underscores that there’s no reason Major League Baseball should enjoy special subsidies — corporate welfare that no one else gets.’ He accused MLB of ‘acting to favor one party against the other.’”

Not to be outdone, Sen. Josh Hawley added that this corporate attack on the government’s right to be openly racist doesn’t end with baseball: “a hundred CEOs of the largest corporations in the world” are planning to “do what the railroad barons tried to do a century ago,” Hawley said.

He is, of course, referring to that time when the railroad barons all got together to end American racism 100 years ago before the government stepped in and stopped them. I learned all this in my U.S. Government class where the textbooks were the Bible, the U.S. Constitution, and a battered copy of The Warren Buffett Way we all shared because taxes were illegal in our town.

I’m pretty sure the books also said that if some people in America didn’t want to watch baseball because the baseball match was taking place in a state that had just passed legislation designed to keep Black people from voting, then Major League Baseball would just move someplace else that didn’t have the law and that’s how free enterprise works, but I could be wrong because the pages that were too socialist got put in a bonfire by the school board.

However, another thing I do know because I learned it just now, is that the Supreme Court itself gave MLB the power to do whatever the fuck it wants nearly 100 years ago (right around the time they stopped the railroads from ending racism):

“The (baseball) owners control who can join their club, the owners control who future owners can be,” said Broward County (Florida) Judge Louis H. Schiff, author of the textbook “Baseball and the Law.”

I would say that does sound bad had I not been told so often that corporations are good, cancel culture is bad, and canceling baseball is treason. Where will this socialist attack on the unfettered freedoms offered to corporations end? Fair wages? Mandatory paid leave? Vegetarian hot dogs? It’s a slippery slope to socialist communism and outlawing Jesus like they did over in that country called Europe.

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