Get In Loser, We're Going Dancing at the Shell Station
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Two short months ago, historical footage of Lindsay Lohan dancing at her Lohan Beach Resort in Mykonos, Greece made its way across the nether regions of the Internet and into my cold, dead, decidedly-not-clubbing-on-the-Med heart. Perhaps you remember it, too—her robotic arms failing, her slow-motion head banging, her red locks flowing in the wind like the wildest of fires. Drunk dancing in the sunshine never looked so good. I was envious. Everyone was envious.