Here's a Perfect Satire of Everything That's Wrong with Useless Instagram Bras

Boobs, or at least their containers, are a new feminist frontier. And just like pussy candles or pinkwashed co-working spaces, at the forefront of that frontier are a bunch of white lady girlbosses who used the money they already had to found a startup that solves problems that don’t exist and call it feminism, a phenomenon that illustrator and YouTuber Victoria Skye Jones lampoons pitch perfectly in this video Cora Harrington, The Lingerie Addict, shared via Twitter.

Jones, whose YouTube channel is a wellspring of good bra information, does such an amazing imitation of the feminist capitalist sitting for a fake Forbes interview on how she got so rich by identifying a problem that didn’t exist, failing to solve that problem, and then branding something expensive and likely useless as empowerment that she should probably start selling something. Anything! As her video proves, it truly does not matter as long as there are muted shades of pink nearby at all times.

“When you cut that [traditional] bra open, you’ll find razor blades in there,” Jones warns, taking on a Goopy little bit of anti-vaxx skirting wellness philosophy before going right for the rich white lady nonsense jugular. “A business can start with a dream,” she explains, “and my dream started on Sandra Bullock’s private jet where I drew this picture on a napkin.”

Girlbras come in all-new sizes! Not bigger ones or anything, just extras in between sizes of the old standards, (kind of like a different Instagram-ubiquitous bra company with a name that contains a number and a feeling.) Girlbras are designed by women! (Women who copied garments already designed by other women.) Bras are patriarchy! Except these which still cost a lot and are only meant for the crowd already being well-served by the current market but have “girl” in the name. Feminism!

Sincere thoughts and prayers to all of the tittied folks being served this exact content in an unironic form on Instagram, but at least you now have this, too. Enjoy!