I Would Lay My Life on the Line for a Fizzgig from Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

I Would Lay My Life on the Line for a Fizzgig from Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance
Sweet lady, would you be my sweet love for a lifetime? Screenshot: (Netflix)

The Dark Crystal: The Age of Resistance, Netflix’s 10-hour puppet high fantasy, is the sort of program that I often think I will like but actually don’t. Puppets are always funny, often unsettling, and rarely the sort of thing I can watch for more than 20 minutes at a time. I gave the show a shot one night and realized it was not for me—however, after seeing a promotional video of four fizzgigs singing the theme song, I have changed my tune a little.

These animals, which resemble dust bunnies with an alarmingly human set of razor teeth, are basically dogs: companion animals that join the rich history of cinematic companion animals that exist to be cute and a little bit funny, but nothing else. My understanding of these floppy moppets above is that they are the predecessors to the fizzgig in the original movie, and while I love them for their large teeth, beady eyes, and fluffy bods, I also salute them for producing the fizzgig in the original Dark Crystal, who is, as the teens say, a mood.

Seems like this little fluffball wanted to ride the dragon, and the girl with the big ears didn’t want that to happen. Eventually she caved, only after this tiny devil opened its mouth and screamed like Veruca Salt berating the low-wage employees at Willly Wonka’s candy factory. Screaming to get your way isn’t always the best tactic, but the sheer indignation exhibited by this creature who knows exactly what it wants and will do everything it can to get it inspires me to do better. Life isn’t always fair, but it is almost always infuriatingly stupid.

Silence your feelings of injustice—tamp them down, push them into the squishy recesses of the heart—and go about your day. Or scream. Do this. Stamp your little chicken feet in righteous anger. Maybe it will get you somewhere good.

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