Kate Middleton Probably Giving Birth, Like, Right Now [UPDATED]


OMG OMG OMG OMG Princess Shinylocks herself Kate Middleton was reportedly just picked up from her parents’ home in a helicopter Buckleberry by car and is currently en route to the hospital where her royal loins will produce THE ROYAL BABY and we will collectively shit our peasant pants in celebration. That’s a ninja-level Friday evening news dump, Royal Family. Well played.

Speculation has swirled and twirled in recent days that Middleton would be giving birth at like LITERALLY ANY SECOND, and earlier this week the Queen remarked that she hoped the baby would come soon, as she’s planning on going on holiday.

Oh my god you guys what if the Queen had Kate induce her labor so the baby would be born around her vacation schedule? Talk about a Queenzilla. (Joking, obviously; CNN is now reporting that the due date — the wildly, irresponsibly speculated upon due date — is in fact TODAY.) For a taste of the Brit-madness, check out the ROYAL BABY hashtag page on Twitter. IT’S MADNESS I SAY MADNESS.

Anyway, we’re all waiting with bated breath here on the surface of the sun as Kate goes through an ordeal that those of us who have never given birth can only imagine.


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