Louis C.K. to Jimmy Fallon: 'I Really Went to Bat Against You' 

Louis reminded his host about the time Fallon tried out for The Dana Carvey Show, which Louis was the head writer for back in the ‘90s. Louis maintained that Fallon wiggled his ass several times during the audition, a statement Fallon vehemently denied. All the women on the show wanted to hire Jimmy, but Louis was like, fuck no: “I think I actually said ‘I will quit the show if you hire that kid.’ I was dead against you.”

“In my head I knew, like, this is really fucked up to be doing this, because this kid is really talented, but I don’t want to look at him every day…so I torpedoed your chances. I mean, I really really went to bat against you.”

Yeah, he sort of did this thing where he pretended that it was all because he was jealous of Jimmy’s full head of hair or whatever, but the truth is clear as day—Louis C.K. thought Jimmy Fallon was annoying. The end.