Marrying Millions Asks the Question: What If Rom-Coms Were Depressing?


A classic tension driver in many romantic comedies is the truth universally acknowledged that rich people generally marry other rich people, both because only other rich people know not to gulp from the finger bowls like a dumpster cat and because not having enough money whilst being attracted to someone who has plenty of money is a deeply shameful character flaw.

This tension driver is generally overcome by a good-hearted heroine who learns what to do with those finger bowls and satisfactorily proves to everyone around her that she’s never even heard of money and certainly doesn’t want any. Marrying Millions promises to show us what money-centric rom-coms might be like if romance and comedy were replaced with insecurity and Beyoncé’s wedding planner.

The show, brought to you by the evil geniuses behind 90 Day Fiancé, follows the courtships of six mixed-wealth couples. And though I cannot tell from the preview who is meant to be rich and who is meant to be poor, it is all meant to be very dramatic. One man has secret roommate parents! Another has doubts about a move to Miami! Air quotes are sometimes difficult to interpret!

Here is the bio of one couple featured on the show: “Megan applied for a job at Sean’s company, but when he was 15 minutes late for the interview, she left. Sean looked her up on Facebook and struck with her profile, pursued her for the next year and a half until she finally said yes to a date with him.”

Cool. Cool, cool, cool. These relationships all seem fine.

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