Noted Crank Gives Inexplicable Gift Advice

You hear “gift guide,” and — even considering that said gift guide is authored by professional crank Liz Jones — you think, “how bad can it be?” And then you read it. And yes, this was the accompanying image.

The premise, first of all, is a gift guide for men, as well as a list of things men should never buy women. It includes things like “clothes” and anti-aging cream, as well as head-scratchers like flowers (because the lady in question “already has a Christmas tree to contend with and doesn’t have time to find a vase.”) But then there’s this:

Don’t Buy: Anything edible. (I have a friend who is a size 18 whose boyfriend gave her a heart-shaped cookie on Valentine’s Day. No.)

Wait, what? Is that story supposed to be shocking? Was her friend dieting, or does Jones simply think anyone at size 18 (approximately a 12-14 US) should under no circumstances be tempted with food? Maybe, having just written an edible gift guide, I’m biased, but this strikes me as deeply odd. It presumes a fraught relationship with food (problematic) and is bad advice to boot! I’m not saying I’d want a heart-shaped cookie — they’re frequently old, slightly dusty and taste like sugary sawdust — but in fact food gifts are one of the best ways to avoid the present-pitfalls Jones enumerates.