The comments of the day:
Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Barbie Turns 50, Gets Chinese Facelift, Tattoos: “I took my Barbies on a lot of wild adventures. Lesbian romps, trials by lighter fluid and fire, haircuts from hell, tug of war with the dog, luxurious baths in the driveway mud puddles… my Barbie and the Rockers doll (incidentally my favorite Barbie profession thus far) got to lip sync to Motley Crue’s Dr. Feelgood album with half her face melted off as Skipper cheered in the audience while being attacked by a giant cat who loved skip’s hair. China will be easy street compared to life in my childhood hands.” We say: We’d be afraid to play “doctor” with you as a kid! • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Capitol Goes Cuckoo For Brad & Nancy: “I have not read the story linked, but I am pretty sure how its plot goes:
This report begins, “Madonna has offered a gnarly old hand to Sienna Miller…”
M: This gnarly old hand of a monkey will grant thee wishes Sienna Miller, and I have benefited from its use. But beware, for it must be used wisely, for the wishes may easily backfire upon the owner. Take heed, for I received it from Michael Jackson, and I do not think he is exactly a person one might want to emulate, despite his past successes.
SM: Oh, Madonna, how generous of you to offer me such a talisman! I promise to use wisdom and restraint in choosing my wishes!
They hug. And then Rod Sterling appears and has some sort of pithy monologue. Fin. We say: And the winner…for best imaginary short screenplay in the comments… is you!