In today’s Tweet Beat, Ryan Seacrest continues to wow us with his musings, Lena Dunham’s life is just so easy to relate to, and Twitter responds to Bieber-mop-bucket-pee-gate.
its amazing to think one night someone got curious in their kitchen and invented a rice crispie
— Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest) July 10, 2013
I wish I could tell you why my mom is with Jay-Z right now.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) July 10, 2013
For some reason my tweet got deleted, but it was pretty important so I’ll post it again: Justin Pee-Ber lol
— Ike Barinholtz (@ikebarinholtz) July 10, 2013
Don’t judge Justin Bieber until you’ve walked a few feet in his designer shoes through a nightclub’s kitchen to piss in a mop bucket.
— Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) July 10, 2013
I wanna cohost @theviewtv sooooooo bad
— Margaret Cho (@margaretcho) July 10, 2013
Dreamt I was a cheerleader at a pep rally screaming: “Show me your kale face!”
— Kristen Schaal (@kristenschaaled) July 10, 2013
RT if u want me to take ur mom on a date…and maybe makeout with her
— lil mufasa (@diplo) July 10, 2013
“I like big butts.” “And I cannot lie!” Diddy & Pinocchio: they’re cops! Tuesdays this fall on TNT, 9/8 Central.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 10, 2013
why wasn’t i born rich ?! .. I honestly came out the wrong vagina
— Lil Debbie (@L1LDebbie) July 10, 2013
Can’t believe it – just dropped the kids off for their first day of preschool! So quiet in the house now. What to do?#sleep #drink #freedom
— Neil Patrick Harris (@ActuallyNPH) July 10, 2013
Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I think, “Maybe it’s not that important for you to make the kids like chickpeas.Maybe yr wasting yr time.”
— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) July 10, 2013
Have u ever stayed in an ice hotel? Wondering what that’s like. Freezing? Fascinating?
— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) July 10, 2013
Writing jokes for you pieces of shit is like feeding a filet of Kobe beef to a mudfish.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) July 10, 2013
When I go for runs in parks in Los Angeles I get scared that a coyote will think I’m a large rabbit. 🙁
— Ellen Page (@EllenPage) July 10, 2013
I know I’m still in Canada because I just walked into a woman and she apologized to me.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) July 10, 2013
I have a conflicting mix of sympathy and contempt for people who breathe extremely loud next to me at urinals.
— dax shepard (@daxshepard1) July 10, 2013
Marina Abramović is gonna FUCKING KILL IT at the James Franco Roast. #TheRealQueenOfMean
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) July 10, 2013
nice try girl at gym wearing sunglasses, hat & reading script out loud so everyone hears, I TOTALLY recognize you from Judge Judy audience
— Matt Oswalt (@Puddinstrip) July 10, 2013
On March 23, 2016, we will have a rare penumbral lunar eclipse and Zach Braff will complete his transformation into Ray Romano.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) July 10, 2013
It would be cool if Congress was shirts and skins
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) July 10, 2013
Hold up! Do I see U doubting URself? TyTy sees how #Fierce U R…do U? TyTy knows U #HaveWhatItTakes…do U? pic.twitter.com/n8btM7zP07
— Tyra Banks (@tyrabanks) July 10, 2013
…always live to serve others and The Lord. #growingeveryday
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) July 10, 2013
Image via Getty.
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