Sarah Palin Has Definitely Not Completely Lost Her Shit


The Iran deal is looking more and more like an inevitability, but that didn’t stop the accord’s opponents from gathering in Washington to protest on Wednesday. Among the rally’s speakers were Donald Trump, his new bromantic partner Ted Cruz, and a Star of David necklace-wearing Sarah Palin, who used to be governor of Alaska and is now just Some Lady. She definitely hasn’t completely lost her marbles.

Here are Sarah Palin’s thoughts about the Iran deal: it’s bad. Now here’s that thought, stretched out over 281 words, apparently arranged in random order. If you stare at it long enough, you’ll see a 3D image of a cloven-hoofed Obama eating a cookie shaped like Israel. If you recite with no mistakes at midnight during the full moon, you’ll move to the top of the GOP’s VP candidate shortlist.

Take it away, Sarah:

You don’t lift sanctions. You crack down on their assets. You cut off their oil and drill, baby, drill for our own. We don’t retreat. We reload against any foe daring to test us. And that is what Iran just did. So, Congress, you got to kill the deal. The president is playing you. He so disrespects you, Congress, and our Constitution, that he won’t even bring you the treaty.
So as Obama leads from behind the skirt of his right-hand man, Valerie Jarrett, then it’s up to Congress to close that window. He may propose. You dispose, Congress. You got to be in it to win it, because we want peace with unapologetic mighty red, white and blue. We’ll have peace. Because war is hell, yet as in all other things, this administration loves conflict so much that they’ll take pressure off the bad guys that reward bad behavior. Yeah, that’s an Obama world with borders wide open, IRS harassing, servers a wiping, where his bad actors are rewarded, while a Christian clerk goes to jail. So the call to action, friends, is take action. Do not play small. It does us no good to play small. That’s not why you were created. And we have not enough time to play small. You be empowered, and render a biased lap-dog media powerless. Hey, media, they’re onto ya! Your role is played out and you’re relegated to the ash heap of history. Look around, friends, you’re not alone. There are more of us than there are of them. Take action! And don’t let your praying knees get lazy! God bless you. God bless Israel. God bless the United States of America.

That’s what Mel Brooks would call “authentic frontier gibberish.” Who can argue with that?

On Thursday, just a day after Palin’s moving soliloquy, 40 Senate Democrats blocked a GOP resolution to pull out of the six-nation accord with Iran, thus virtually ensuring that it will take effect.

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Image via AP.

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