The Paris Olympics Are Preparing for a Very Horny Summer
As you may or may not recall, athletes were barred from most physical contact let alone sexual contact during the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo because of a little thing called the covid pandemic.
Photo: Shutterstock
Before we even know who will be competing in the Paris Olympics this summer, the International Olympic Committee wants us to know one thing: whoever these athletes are, they will probably be fucking. And the IOC is very much prepared for this, aiming to stockpile 300,000 condoms for the 14,250 Olympic athletes who will take up residence at the Olympic Village from July 26 to August 11, CBS reports.
This exciting safe-sex news follows the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo (which actually took place in 2021), where athletes were barred from nearly all physical contact let alone sexual contact owing to a little thing called the covid pandemic. Strict rules prohibited athletes from getting within six-and-a-half feet of each other except when necessary to prevent the spread of the virus. Incidentally, horniness was not recognized as a necessary scenario!
Now that covid apparently isn’t as much of a concern for the IOC this year (which… we’ll see how that goes, I guess!), the intimacy ban from 2020 is no more, and the IOC is prepared for athletes to get it on no fewer than 300,000 times in the span of two weeks. This builds on a tradition tracing back to the 1988 Seoul Olympics when Olympic organizers began distributing condoms not just to ensure athletes had what they needed, but to raise awareness about HIV/AIDS. Even in Tokyo in 2021, Olympic organizers distributed 150,000 condoms to athletes despite the intimacy ban, explaining to Reuters at the time, “The distribution of condoms is not for use at the athletes’ village, but to have athletes take them back to their home countries to raise awareness [of HIV and AIDS].”
Sex in the Olympic Village has always held a particular fascination in the public imagination, with athletes themselves often recounting raunchy adventures and at least one American athlete in 2012 joking about “running a friggin’ brothel” in London. The gay dating app Grindr reportedly crashed that same year upon being inundated with activity when athletes arrived at the Olympic Village.
At the London Olympics, the IOC provided 150,000 condoms. Then, in 2016, the IOC significantly upped this number, tripling the condom stockpile to 350,000, along with these add-ons: “an additional 100,000 female condoms and 175,000 packets of lubricant for the 10,500 athletes, as in 42 condoms per athlete, averaging out to two-and-a-half a day,” per E! Online.
No word yet on how many female condoms or buckets of lubricant will be distributed in Paris this year. But I should hope that in the City of Love, the IOC will be prepared for things to get amorous…