Trump Reportedly 'Taken Aback' By Bipartisan Backlash Against Comey Firing 

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Once again, we are confronted with the fact that this country’s institutions are being bulldozed by a team of breathtakingly stupid people. White House officials had reportedly thought firing James Comey, the guy currently investigating the Trump administration, would be a “win-win” because both Democrats and Republicans had had issues with the FBI director in the past. [Politico]
• A few days before he was canned by a bodyguard, Comey had asked for a substantial increase in resources for the Russia investigation. [New York Times]
• CNN sources report two reasons behind the firing: That the Russia investigation was accelerating, and that Comey had not “provided Trump with any assurances of personal loyalty.” jfdkls;ajdslkafjdks! [CNN]
• There will probably not be an independent prosecutor because infernal geoduck Mitch McConnell does not appear to want one. [BuzzFeed]
• Meanwhile, the Senate Intelligence Committee has invited the former FBI director to testify at a closed hearing next week. [Reuters]
• Here’s where GOP senators currently stand on the Comey firing. (And here’s a surprise for ya: Marco Rubio has managed to stand exactly nowhere!) [The Hill]
• The director of the Census Bureau is stepping down amid a steep funding shortage, which is…bad! [New York Times]
• A reporter was arrested today for “yelling questions” at HHS director Tom Price. [New York Times]
• Okay, some good news: with the help of three Republicans, the Senate voted not to repeal an Obama-era rule limiting methane emissions. [The Hill]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.