Viola Davis Will Issue A Beatdown To Integrate New England, Win Beauty Pageant

Ms. Davis came on after Bill Maher, who himself was all fired up about various issues (Republicans, Michael Phelps, Kellogg’s, A-Rod, American obesity) but the heretofore unknown (to me) actress managed to upstage Bill’s earlier hysterics and carefully-rehearsed punchlines, with topics including growing up in Rhode Island, Sanford & Son, second-hand bikinis and urination accidents. Half the time I had no idea what she was talking about – it was late! – but I was left with two distinct thoughts: 1) I hope she wins the Oscar, if just for the awesome speech she’ll give, and 2) the Tonight Show greenroom must have some serious Pinot grigio.