We Are in Actual Hell

We Are in Actual Hell

There’s something about cute-ifying Sarah Palin by plopping her in a neon bear costume and having her rap a gender-switched version of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ode to ass, “Baby Got Back,” that jibes so perfectly with this end-of-days atmosphere that has descended upon humanity. Again and again, I can’t help thinking to myself, “Hm, we probably deserve this mess we’re in.”

You probably could have guessed it, but the scenario described above is what happened on Wednesday’s The Masked Singer. That show has been dead to me since it bumped off one of the best singers to grace human ears, Patti LaBelle, before the likes of Wayne Brady, the least good member of Destiny’s Child, and Ana Gasteyer last season. And it would have stayed dead had it not committed such a calamitous atrocity as this performance:

Palin notably refused to say “horny.” Also after the first verse, she abandoned her weak attempt to make the song’s object of lust into a man (the “Red beans and rice didn’t miss her” line stayed intact). That’s to say that she didn’t even properly execute this rendition by its own inane standards.

Legends Chaka Khan and Dionne Warwick were eliminated earlier this season. This show is at least chaos, if not a total scam.

After Palin was unmasked, Palin said of the show, “This is something that our country needs now, too,” once again proving that Sarah Palin has no fucking clue what our country needs.

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