25 Things Bill Maher Says About Bill Maher, Ranked By Obnoxiousness


The subject of the most recent installment of US Weekly’s “25 Things” is TV host and liberal who makes me not want to be a liberal anymore Bill Maher. It’s just as insufferable as you’d expect, but it’s in the wrong order. I fixed it.

From least to most obnoxious, here is the Bill Maher on Bill Maher list, reordered.

14. My parents met in Europe in World War II. My mom was a nurse. [Ed note: cute! Not obnoxious]
18. I always have two dogs.
3. I’ve never missed a taping of either Politically Incorrect or Real Time.
6. I jump on a trampoline every day. I believe it is good for my lymph system. [Ed note: trampolines rule.]
10. I would rather have to deal with a tiger than a spider.
4. The only time I missed a stand-up show was when fog closed an airport!
19. I love to bodysurf.
15. I make a great omelet. My secret ingredient is a diced baked potato.
21. I throw an annual party late Christmas night for those sick of family.
1. I play basketball every day.
7. My choice in spirits: tequila and tonic over ice.
8. My favorite movie is Saving Private Ryan, which is also George W. Bush’s!
20. I like to climb trees and always pick my own lemons and grapefruits from the trees in my yard.
2. I have been a PETA board member since 1997.
16. I needed 120 credits to graduate college and had that exact amount.
22. I like fireproof file cabinets the way Jay Leno likes cars. I have almost as many.
23. I’m not good at math, but I can remember dates of any random event.
17. I have more than 5,000 songs in my iPod and I’ve listened to them all in alphabetical order. Twice.
9. I’ve kept a health log since 1975 with any medications I ever took.
24. Someone once called me a male chauvinist lamb and I was OK with it.
5. I’m a minority owner of the New York Mets.
12. I juice at least six vegetables every day.
11. I got my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2010.
13. I gave President Barack Obama’s super PAC $1 million in 2012.
25. I’ve been nominated for 34 Emmys and only won once – was it something I said?

Nah. That couldn’t possibly be it.

Image via Getty.

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