78-Year-Old Woman Tries To Board Plane with $41,000 Strapped To Her Body


If there’s one thing I love about the geriatric population it’s that they have the most poetic and hilarious ways of showing precisely how much of a fuck they do not care for.

A 78-year-old woman (of the Floridan persuasion) aroused suspicions at Detroit Metropolitan Airport after she claimed to be carrying $200 in cash with her, but then submitted a form declaring $1200 in cash. It probably didn’t help that the woman was about to board an international flight. Authorities subsequently performed a search and found a little more than that. Nearly $40,000 more. Huffington Post reports:

During a search, Customs and Border Protection officers found $8,000 in wallets in her carry-on bag, $4,000 sewn into a cloth pouch and nearly $1,000 in envelopes, according to the complaint. She then told them she had $3,000 in her blouse and $2,000 sewn into the strap of her bra.
Officers continued to search and said they found about $21,000 in her girdle. The woman told authorities that she had recently sold her home for $120,000, wired some money to the Philippines and had planned to carry a portion of the money with her.

$21K in her GIRDLE!? Amazing. The woman carried the money with her because like many grandmothers/regular people around the world, this broad Trusts No Bank. And apparently she has a flagrant disregard for The Rules because it’s fairly common knowledge (at least for people who have filled out a customs form) that you must declare if you’ve got more than $10,000 on you when traveling. I mean I guess the deliberate hiding of all that cash says enough, but still. What a champ.

The woman has not been charged. Probably because she charmed the authorities out of it the sly fox.

Image via Shutterstock.

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