Match.com has released its 2014 Year in Review report, and apparently, people don’t have very much to mention about themselves other than “Zumba” and Frozen. Listen, love in the time of cholera internet dating can be rough. The whole idea of looking for a partner based on the pretense of personal branding is a bit strange, and it’s intimidating to have to set yourself apart from a million other users, but people. Let’s find something better to talk about.
Of course Zumba wasn’t the only painfully inoffensive and uninteresting activity people used to showcase themselves. Betabeat reports:
[T]he word “travel” was mentioned 1,005,346 times across all Match.com profiles; the phrase “down to earth” saw 232,348 mentions.
“Zumba” tops the list of most common words people used in their profiles. Also at the top of the list are “Electrician,” “Welcoming,” “Warmhearted,” “Crochet,” “Quickest,” “Cosmetology,” “Ladies” (you can just hear the frat bros now) and “Sewing.”
Both the word “selfie” and the movie Frozen were mentioned more than 5,000 times. Alright folks. Internet dating is dumb and hard, but luckily the Mistress of Love (me, duh) is here to help you clean up those profiles so you can shine like the bright star that you are in this Milky Way of dreary profiles. So here are some tried and tested topics that you can use to turn your profile from drab to marginally better:
Books: Honestly, talking about Twilight or god help us, Catcher in the Rye (personal dealbreaker) is fucking boring. But let’s think outside of the box: talk about your favorite edition of Poor Richard’s Almanack. I hear the one from 1742 was killer.
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