Anthony Weiner Vows to Come Out of Retirement if Trump Spawn Runs for NYC Mayor


In an event that seems like it should be a comedy sketch but isn’t, former New York congressman Anthony Weiner threatened to come out of retirement on Tuesday in the case that Donald Trump, Jr. decides to make a bid for New York City’s mayoral office in 2017.

“I’d come out of a retirement just to beat him like a rented mule,” Weiner, a person who has obviously been getting some #protips from our extensive list of epithets for the current GOP nominee, told local news affiliate FOX5NY at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia on Tuesday.

The statement came two days after the younger Trump mused over the possibility of running for office during an interview on CNN’s State of the Union, citing the success of his father/lopsided sperm generator’s success has had in this year’s general election.

In a segment on Sunday, Trump, Jr. told host Jake Tapper that he is currently not ruling out a chance to run for office, but did not confirm any concrete plans to do proactively do so.

“As my father says, ‘We always like to keep our options open,’” he stated on air. “So if I can do that as a service to our country, I’d love to do it.

Of course, the entire affair wouldn’t be a true spectacle of Trumpian fisticuffs without a tweet, which Donald Junior doled out accordingly after Weiner’s proclamation.

The same goes for commentary from Trump Senior, a very Large Dad.

“Donald Trump Jr. has no intention of running for mayor of New York,” the Republican party’s newly-coronated candidate told the same local Fox affiliate.

Keeping in line with his brand, Trump—the only known wannabe-oligarch who is also a spoiled bottle of tan enhancer—took credit for predicting Weiner’s political demise, which began after the congressman accidentally tweeted a dick pic meant for his then-secret mistress in 2001.

“I was the one who predicted Anthony Weiner would flame out and not be able to run for mayor,” he said to the press. “People were amazed at how insightful I was.”

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