Aunt Becky Really, Really, Really, Really Doesn't Want to Go to Jail

CelebritiesDirt Bag
Aunt Becky Really, Really, Really, Really Doesn't Want to Go to Jail

Buckle up, college admissions scandal followers: The Aunt Becky news isn’t slowing down, and most likely won’t, until Lori Loughlin and her husband, the Target fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, are behind bars. According to an insider at E!, it has just now occurred to Loughlin that, yup, she’s most likely going to jail—especially after rejecting her first plea deal and facing additional money laundering charges after the fact because she thought the district attorney was bluffing. The source said:

“Lori is finally realizing just how serious this is. She is seeing the light that she will do jail time and is freaking out.”

They also explained that she signed autographs outside the courtroom because she didn’t know “how else to be in public”:

“She was obviously extremely nervous and the actress side of Lori came out. She doesn’t know how else to be in public. Her natural reaction was to just smile and try to be light-hearted. She’s always been so well loved and charming, that’s the part she knows how to play in public.”



:According to People, an insider explained exactly why Aunt Becky and her husband wanted to shell out half-a-million dollars to get their dumb daughters into the University of Southern California: status. They said:

“Lori is used to getting what she wants. This is why she got in trouble in the first place. She got fixated on getting her girls into USC. For her, there was no other way. They needed to be at USC. It was very important for her to be able to say that her girls were at USC. It was absolutely a status thing. And the fact that she wanted the girls to have things that she never had growing up.”

I’m gonna go ahead and say this “source” is not a Full House fan.


Screenshot:Page Six

And now, for your daily dose of career-altering inspiration: Patti LaBelle is extending her empire to include frozen food, for some reason.

If you’ve spent any real time in a Walmart recently, you’re probably well-aware that LaBelle has a line of pies at the retailer already. According to Al Roker, they’re so good, they’re like her “singing in a pie.” Now, Patti’s partnered with restaurateur Stratis Morfogen on a line of frozen Chinese food, a particular kind of cuisine I wouldn’t say the pre-packaged food industry has mastered, Page Six reports. It will be sold in “supermarkets.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking: what does any of this have to do with celebrity gossip? I wanted to hear about a divorce. Well, you sicko, what if these treats, like LaBelle’s singing, actually satiate? Next time you need to whip out a meal for one, think of me. Think of her.

[Page Six]

  • Jackée Harry says Batman star Eartha Kitt slapped her after she found out she was sleeping with her boyfriend. [Hollywood Life]
  • Modern Family star Ariel Winter is aware that she is human, and has a changing human body, thanks. [Page Six]
  • Want to run into a boy band member, say, 5 Seconds of Summer’s Ashton Irwin? Go to Joan’s. [Just Jared]
  • Everyone loves Meghan Markle’s blush. [People]
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