Let’s Discuss the Goop in the Room

But first, as Hilary Duff says, let’s go back, back to the beginning. Last week, Popbitch, a British celebrity-gossip newsletter, ran a blind item that read: “The story goes that a recent houseguest of Gwynnie’s catastrophically shat themselves in bed while staying there, then fled back to the city before they had to face the music.” The houseguest was possibly staying at Gwyneth Paltrow‘s Hamptons home in Amagansett and they possibly shat themselves due to Ozempic.

“Gwynnie’s guest won’t be the only shitter in the Hamptons this year. Ozempic-induced diarrhea is becoming a very hot topic of conversation between hosts there–because so many of their guests are using it. So expect laundrettes to be fully booked from July 4th,” Popbitch wrote. Gross.

Deux Moi obviously found a way to jump in, posting a blind item shortly after that said the “permanent ‘friend of’ didn’t even bother to clean up after himself, but instead, left money for the cleaning staff… forcing them to scrub away at the walls, ceilings and floors-which was allegedly the evidence of the wild night.” Gross and also, fucking insane.

This brings us to Wednesday, when the Daily Mail revealed the mystery shitter to be Derek Blasberg, who they brutally describe as a “celebrity hanger-on.” (You could call him a socialite, but he’s also a writer, Karlie Kloss‘ “big brother,” and was YouTube’s head of fashion and beauty partnerships until 2022.) They added that it wasn’t Ozempic, it’s “just what he told everyone” and that word allegedly got out after Paltrow told Oprah, Larry David, and Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld.

 

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A post shared by Derek Blasberg (@derekblasberg)

“It’s shocking how many people know this story and how he has managed to keep it out of The Post,” the “inside source” told the DM. “Probably via his best friend [socialite Dasha Zhukova] – whose mom just married Rupert Murdoch.” Interestingly, Page Six hasn’t run anything on this so I believe it!

Meanwhile, Lainey Gossip posted on Wednesday that they received a reader letter a few weeks ago that said Blasberg actually shat all over Paltrow’s Montecito guest house…not her guest house in the Hamptons. So who knows what to believe! They also added: “If you can’t get diarrhea in your friend’s guest house, where can you get diarrhea?!! Is nothing sacred anymore? This is friendship!” And I agree! Except, I also think it’s friendship to maybe fess up to your friend and not just throw a bunch of money at the cleaning staff.

Well, that’s everything there is to discuss, and I very much doubt that we’ll ever get confirmation one way or the other. Still, a little poop gossip every once in a while is good for the soul, you know? But if you were thinking about leaving a bunch of poop emojis on Blasberg’s Instagram (wtf), maybe don’t.

• Katy Perry continues to fail at reading the room. [Page Six]
• Jenna Bush Hager told Hoda Kotb to “Free Your Boobs,” which is actually solid advice. [Us Weekly]
• Lily Gladstone said the Golden Globes are like “Squid Game” on the Kelly Clarkson Show. [Pop Crave]
• Here’s a bunch of celebs, including Karlie Kloss, DJ Khaled, Emily Ratajkowski, Megan Fox, and Machine Gun Kelly, at Michael Rubin‘s 4th of July Hamptons white party. [Page Six]