Can the Shutdown Be Shutdown?

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• The Democrats have their finger on the block button, vowing to block every single bit of legislation flowing through Congress that doesn’t ensure the re-opening of the government. Looks like Pelosi, Schumer, and co. are remaining firm with this one. [CNN]
• Joe Biden decides he wants to play martyr when it comes to whether or not he’ll run for president against Trump in 2020. [New York Times]
• In other obnoxious 2020 news, people are still peer pressuring Beto O’Rourke into running for president. [Politico]
• Under the first two years of Trump’s presidency, more coal mining facilities have closed than during Obama’s first term. Being a coal fan boy isn’t enough to save it. [CNN]
• Trump promises he didn’t do the campaign violation. [Politico]
• Trump also says he’s going to visit the U.S.-Mexico border on Thursday. But as a teaser, enjoy his primetime speech about the wall tomorrow at 9 p.m. EST. Or, preferably, don’t. [USA Today]
• The IRS says you’ll get your refund check. [Bloomberg]
• Uh, a second (SECOND) black man has been found dead in the home of Democratic Donor, Ed Buck. [Advocate]
• California is trying to figure out how to pay for six months of paid leave. [Los Angeles Times]
• Those “sonic attacks” at the U.S. embassy in Cuba might have just been, er, sonic crickets? [New York Post]
• Cory Booker was spotted at the movies with Rosario Dawson, which, okay! [Page Six]
• A Vermont paper really really doesn’t want Bernie Sanders to run for president again. [Times Argus]
• @ Government: Pls pay the Alaksan National Weather Service. [Washington Post]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.