Crap Email From A Dude, The Movie: "Thought You Were Underage"


It’s a pretty bad idea to contact a stranger and tell her she’s hot because she looks like a young girl. Ed did this, to Abigail. And this very special CEFAD is re-enacted for your pleasure by weird bear creatures.

Probably the most offensive thing about the entire situation is that OKCupid rated Ed “30% Enemy, 52% Friend, 51% Match.”

Abigail wrote us to say, “I find his self-esteem in the face of his own creepiness inspiring. I almost responded with, ‘I am glad your self esteem remains so high. You will need it in order to remain indignant when you’re arrested for creeping on underage girls.’ Instead, I decided to give myself the gift of not engaging with a total jerkwad for Christmas.” We decided to give her that comeback in our highly dramatic re-enactment, because why not?

Here’s the full correspondence, which began with this missive from Ed:

too much to handle???
Dec. 25, 2010 – 1:20pm
Well aren’t you gorgeous for being young and so tiny…thought you were underage at first. It’s not often I can say that about such a fragile and innocent girl being very attractive. You probably can’t keep up with an experienced, adventurous and kinky bad boy unfortunately, can you? 😉
…we’d definitely make good looking kids though.

Abigail replied:

Dec. 26, 2010 – 11:33pm
It is not attractive to tell a woman that she looks like a young girl. Instead, it’s a red flag and a sign that you’d end up getting caught on tape by Chris Hansen on Dateline.

Undeterred, Ed wrote back:

Dec. 26, 2010 – 11:35pm
75% of the world are some combination of blind, ignorant, lazy, overemotional, whiny, etc….my message was aimed at quickly filtering out those 75% who are like you.
stay cute…see ya cutie

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