EU Leaders Are So Sick of Britain's Crap One Named Her Cat 'Brexit' 


Brexit is still a slow-motion disaster, and frankly, the leaders of the European Union are getting goddamn sick of it.

In the latest development, speaker John Bercow—the guy who yells “order! order!”—blocked a third Commons vote on essentially the same damn withdrawal proposal from Theresa May, citing a rule from the year 1604. Cool. The Guardian has a report on the responses to the chaos from across the Channel. German chancellor Angela Merkel said she would fight to avoid a no-deal Brexit until the last possible moment, but frankly, there’s nothing she can do about the absolute clown town that is Westminster. She had this absolutely withering comment on the situation: “I admit that I wasn’t on top of the British parliament’s 17th-century procedural rules.”

Meanwhile, Nathalie Loiseau, France’s EU affairs minister, has named her cat Brexit, because, as she told Le Journal du Dimanche, “He wakes me up every morning meowing to death because he wants to go out, and then when I open the door he stays put, undecided, and then glares at me when I put him out.”

That gives this comment from a European Commission spokesperson a downright sarcastic tone:

“We are now exactly 10 days away from the United Kingdom withdrawing from the European Union.
“We naturally follow all developments in the House of Commons very closely, but it is not for us to comment on or intervene in the parliamentary process or parliamentary conventions of the United Kingdom. It will be for the prime minister and her majesty’s government to decide on the next steps and inform us accordingly and swiftly.”

Nothing more quietly judgmental than, “ya’ll just let us know when you figure it out!”

Perhaps the best illustration of the dynamics at work is this video of the prime minister of Luxembourg painstakingly explaining to a British reporter that no, they do not have to give Theresa May the concessions she wants, because it was the UK that chose Brexit, not the EU. Basically, this is a you problem, not a me problem, as far as the continent is concerned.

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