Happy New Year! Taylor Swift Kissed Travis Kelce While He Was Wearing a Corduroy Suit

The pair were filmed making out at midnight, but all I really noticed was the corduroy calamity on Kelce's tight end.

Happy New Year! Taylor Swift Kissed Travis Kelce While He Was Wearing a Corduroy Suit

Travis Kelce likes corduroy. This much I know to be true. How? Because I spent an inordinate amount of time in 2023 being forced to look at innumerable photos of him and he wore it a lot last fall—markedly after he began dating Taylor Swift. Don’t believe me? Google Travis Kelce + corduroy. The results—Us Weekly surmised that he’s in his “Evermore era”—speak for themselves.

And it appears his affinity for ridged cotton will remain consistent in 2024 because Kelce chose to ring in the new year bedecked in a brown corduroy two-piece that looks like he bleached some 70s-era couch covers and stitched them together.

According to multiple videos circulating online, America’s couple made an appearance at a New Year’s Eve party in Kansas City—and when the clock struck midnight, Swift wrapped her arms around the tight end and gave him a big, fat smooch. Aw! While I very much do not approve of Kelce’s ensemble, between the suit and all the chest hair, he’s basically the human manifestation of Corduroy the bear, so I’m sure kissing him is pretty chill (and exceptionally soft). [Editor’s note: This is extra fun because, for years, it’s been a running joke that Taylor is Paddington the Bear.]

Also on hand at the party were Patrick and Brittany Mahomes (sorry Swifties, they’re still pals) and some other people who are probably football players too, but I don’t recognize them because the only time I engage with the NFL, it’s in the name of The Cleveland Browns. This group shot gives you a closer look at the great corduroy calamity of 2024.

Anyway! Swift and Kelce’s smooch-sighting garnered some opinions and a lot of excitement online, but this analysis is the only one that matters to me. If, in 2024, there’s a new Swift single that features a corduroy-covered easter egg, well, everyone who reads this owes me money.

Happy New Year, all. Here’s hoping yours began with anything but this absolutely cursed clip of John Mayer in a Tokyo cat bar.

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