How Many Bong Rips Did It Take to Get to a Semi-Live Action Tom and Jerry Starring Chloë Grace Moretz?

Did you know there was a Tom and Jerry movie coming out starring Chloë Grace Moretz and directed by the dude who made Think Like A Man and Think Like A Man Too? Maybe you did, but I sure as hell didn’t, and after reading a new interview with the film’s director about the film, I’m convinced someone had to be stoned at some point during the plotting process.

This semi-live action reboot finds Tom and Jerry homeless (???) before they decide to come to a truce (???) and part ways. They eventually run into each other in New York City: Jerry is chillin’ at a ritzy hotel, to the chagrin of hotel manager Kayla (played by Moretz), who has been tasked to solve this little rodent problem ahead of a glitzy wedding set to take place there. She comes across Tom (???) and hires him to get rid of Jerry, hurling their longtime beef back into action. Oh, and Michael Peña, Rob Delaney, Ken Jeong, and Colin Jost are in it too.

Okay, cool, fine. Think classic Tom and Jerry cartoon with a little Who Framed Roger Rabbit? influence. It’s nice to see some 2-D animation again, and according to Jezebel editor and mom Kelly Faircloth, this sounds a hell of a lot better than watching Frozen for the zillionth time.

But I cannot get over director Tim Story’s philosophical breakdown of his film in a recent interview with Variety (emphasis ours).

In tackling one of the most notorious feuds in pop culture history, director Tim Story used one guiding principle: “It’s not war; it’s sibling rivalry.”

I’m an only child so maybe I just don’t get it, but weren’t Tom and Jerry always trying to electrocute and stab each other and shit?

“By no means were we trying to make Tom and Jerry a real cat and mouse,” Story says.

Bong rip.

“They live by certain rules — they can be cut in half and smashed. At the same time, they’re being thrown into the real world. Our world, our rules. That template allowed us to have the most fun. As long as I could get the actors to buy into the tone, we could just be wacky. Let them fight and destroy property, furniture, all the things they’re known for.”

Yeah, man, I have no idea what those rules are but I’m absolutely watching this zooted out of my goddamn mind.