I Take Some Small Solace in the Fact That Trump Lives in a Print Version of Twitter

Find joy where you can.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

If you can believe it, Trump’s preferred method of keeping up with the news is not mass-following lizard people on Twitter, but reading a stack of printed-out news stories—that’s right, old-fashioned print, baby—that appears on his desk every day. I have actually thought about doing this and increasing the font size of stories to rest my poor, grandma eyes—but this particular form of digesting the news presents a problem for Trump, which is that people who work for him try to manipulate his mood by sneaking in stories designed to rile him up. Actually, that sounds like a perfect, real-life analog for reading Twitter, so I guess Trump also lives in a prison of his own making! [Politico]
Al Sharpton reportedly “Hates Whites & Cops,” according to the president, who inadvertently must be quoting every leftist in Brooklyn’s online dating bio. [New York Times]
The Democrats continue to take their sweet-ass time. [Politico]
AOC living rent-free in some impulsive Kentuckian’s mind. [WDRB]
Trump’s brain goes drip drip:

The 19-year-old shooter at the Gilroy Garlic Festival was posting about a neo-Nazi manifesto before he shot and killed three people at the Gilroy Garlic Festival. [NBC News]
Kamala Harris… please, stop. [NPR]
Nobody give their money to Tom Steyer and maybe we’ll be done with him before the next debate! [Politico]