In Which My Real Life Intersects With Zoë Kravitz’s and Channing Tatum’s Possibly Fake Romance

I inadvertently lunched at the same Brooklyn restaurant as the pair this weekend

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In Which My Real Life Intersects With Zoë Kravitz’s and Channing Tatum’s Possibly Fake Romance
Photo:Angela Weiss (Getty Images)

If you live in New York—by which I mean the entire state, not just the city—you must, at this point, go to pains not to run into Zoë Kravitz and Channing Tatum. In the last week or two since they’ve been linked to each other, the couple has been spotted riding a bike together down the street, getting coffee, dining at a handful of New York City restaurants, and even grocery shopping in a small upstate town—an improbable place to get papped, we could say.

I encountered the newly minted pair on Saturday, at Chez Ma Tante, where my boyfriend and I were meeting two friends for lunch. (Yes, I did have a quiche and share a plate of the Brooklyn restaurant’s famous pancakes, but I’m loath to call a meal consumed at 2:30 p.m. “brunch.”) We were was running late and when we approached our friends, who had been waiting for our table on the street outside, they alerted us to Kravitz and Tatum, who were dining with a third “mystery” person at a nearby table on the sidewalk. Tatum, our friend’s fiancé noted, was wearing a System of a Down band t-shirt.

Because I’m a normal person who tries to be mindful of people’s privacy, this is all I have to report—no photos, no descriptions of what they ordered, no assessment of how they appeared to treat their servers, typical of the anti-gossip gossip Instagram account @DeuxMoi (which in fact shared many photos of Kravitz and Tatum on this particular outing).

The only thing I’ll say is that the couple’s sheer ubiquity in the press does require one to suspend their disbelief when it comes to their plausibility as a “real” couple. If they are truly dating, their respective publicists are working hard to make sure we know it. This weekend alone, they were spotted strolling through Central Park, browsing the Guggenheim, and dining at Altro Paradiso and Waverly Inn as well as Chez Ma Tante. When you think about it, it was never that unlikely that my rumored boyfriend and I would one day bump into Kravitz’s and hers.


Lizzo has to be the hottest person getting a covid test for some reason:


 
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