Not much good “unless you have two right feet,” said Rob Wickham, who operates the shop. “Pretty much risking their freedom for nothing.”
With all due respect to a person who has twice suffered larceny over the past two months, I beg to differ. Make! it! work! burglars!
- 1) Show off your haul to other burglars by filling a burlap sack and quickly flash the shoes
- 2) Quit burglary, move away from the Roanoke area, and get a head start on your new shoe store!
- 3) Arrange them on the floor of an art gallery and issue a press release
- 4) Expedite TSA check-in for yourself and everyone
- 5) Surprise your roommate with an ominous trail in your apartment which leads to nowhere
- 6) Repurpose the shoes as cactus planters and remove the laces, tie them to magnets, and use them to fish metallic objects which have fallen down a drain (seriously, imagination is the limit)
- 7) Use them as doorstops for 13 doors
- 8) Stick your leg out on the red carpet, like really far out
- 9) Cut them apart and glue the pieces all together to make a Frankenstein sneaker and call it Balenciaga
- 10) Hurl them at enemies on television
But really you could and probably should donate them.
A 17-year-old has been charged in one of the burglaries.
But what was it all for?