Kim Kardashian Adds 'Horse Girl' to Her Resume

By Joan Summers  |  June 30, 2020 | 3:10pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag
Kim Kardashian Adds 'Horse Girl' to Her Resume
Screenshot:Instagram (Other)

Neigh! That’s the sound a horse makes in America. It’s also a sound heard often on Kim Kardashian’s gargantuan Wyoming ranch, considering the former criminal justice “activist” slash land baroness slash chaos merchant acquired 14 Friesian horses for… well… who really knows why she has 14 horses!

Big news for a Tuesday: Somewhere, Kardashian heiress North West is clip-clopping around her parents’ ranch on a horse with more bundles in its hair than Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kylie, and Kris kombined. On Twitter yesterday, we non-ranch owners were given just a peek of a brooding and nameless stallion. Pretty! There are 13 more of them.

For what it’s worth, ol’ Kimmie seems to be doing the correct thing, which means: growing to fit your children’s rapidly changing needs and interests. It’s just that, where this would normally mean “stepping on more Legos than you would like,” for oligarchical families like the Kardashians, that apparently equates to “buying 14 horses.” North is very into yee haw aesthetics right now! For her seventh birthday, Kim flew her friends out to ride go-carts, pet horses, stomp around in boots, and eat some delicious cowgirl-hat-shaped cake. That’s nice!

There is possibly a scenario where bragging about the 14 horses you own at your coincidentally priced $14 million ranch (is there some numerology thing going on?) exemplifies Kim’s general inability to “read the room.” But look! She did a nice thing for her kid. That must mean something, although I couldn’t possibly tell you what it is.

Still though, 14 horses! On that massive ranch. How soon do you imagine the sound of clip-clopping will evolve into the eerie hum of a fracking rig? Fellow Wyomingite RuPaul has already joined the latest craze for land barons worldwide, maybe Kim should look into that! Fracking would at least pay for the horses.

Ryan Seacrest, famous job-haver, keeps breaking up with 28-year-old girlfriend Shayna Taylor, who is… a model? Yes, she’s a model. They’ve broken up for the third time. RIP!

Us Weekly has been told by a rep for the couple: “Ryan and Shayna decided to end their romantic relationship amicably some time ago. They remain good friends, each other’s biggest supporters and will always cherish their time together as a couple.” The announcement also comes after the red carpet fixture was seen with a mystery woman in Mexico on Monday, leading the Daily Mail to speculate he and Taylor had split.

Seacrest has also been vocal on Live With Kelly and Ryan that he and Taylor had already broken up two times before, telling co-host Kelly Ripa in the past: “Listen, nothing’s perfect. You just keep trying until you get it right.” Good attitude, dude! Better luck next time.

Remember Paul Walker? Well, here’s a nice thing: His daughter is besties with Vin Diesel’s children! Good for her and them and everyone involved.

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