Men Going to Lose All Their Damn Teeth, Probably!


Ever kiss someone immediately after waking up, your mouth warm and moist, stinky and steaming with a full night’s worth of germs? Do you wish all kisses could be so unpleasant? Do you partner with straight men? Here’s some news: According to a landmark new article in GQ by Jaya Saxena, men don’t wanna brush their teeth anymore. So they’re not!

After quoting recent studies from the Academy of General Dentistry and the Journal of Periodontology, both of which have determined women are much more likely to get preventative dental care than dudes because we actually brush our chompers, Saxena talks to a few able-bodied men who have access to dentists and the ability to brush their teeth daily but are choosing not to do so. There are apparently a handful of reasons men are like this, but here are a few options: They don’t want to. They think having a partner tell them to brush is “nagging” and “controlling” so they don’t want to. And, in perhaps what is the only legitimate excuse—depression can often limit a person’s ability to keep up with hygiene, so they don’t brush.

Here are some quotes from men.

Colin, 29, Brooklyn:

“When I was going through some pretty rough spots a couple years ago I wouldn’t even shower, let alone brush my teeth, for days at a time…I think it’s just a combination of laziness, and not really being forced to change my habits for health reasons or a partner.”

Peter, 30, calls brushing his teeth a “tiny act of self-harm”:

“I may spend all day following orders at work, and wrangling a toddler, and studying for classes, and I don’t really have a choice in any of that, but when it comes to whether or not I am going to brush my teeth this morning I am completely in control.”

One woman named McKenna broke up with her boyfriend partially because he wouldn’t brush: “I mentioned it to him once or twice, but he reacted like I was trying to control his life,” she told GQ. I am confident she made the correct decision.

Read the full article here.

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