OMFG Beyoncé Just Cut Off All Her Hair.

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Holy motherfuckin’ cow. Beyoncé posted her NEW BLONDE PIXIE CUT on Instagram late last night, while we were all sleeping or making fierce, yet tender love or watching the last episode of Frasier — and the Internet has become a house divided.

There is some speculation that the chop is the result of the Great Hair-In-Fan-Snag Incident of 2013. I love the cut, but I have to say, I am not thrilled about the blondeness, which makes it reminiscent of that “edgy” Miley pixie everyone seems to be getting these days. Can’t wait for the next level when Jessica Biel gets Skrillex hair. [Today; images via Instagram]

Drake finally responded to Amanda Bynes’ pre-5150 Twitter flip-flopping in regards to his sexual appeal (“Drake is hot.” “Drake is ugly.” “Drake is hot.” “Drake is ugly.”) in XXL Magazine. It is relatively tactful and roughly what you would expect.

“I don’t even know who that is doing that or what that’s about. If that is her, I guess it’s a little weird and disturbing. It’s obviously a behavioral pattern that is way bigger than me. Whether it’s her or somebody else, they know people are paying attention so they keep it going.”

[The Hollywood Gossip]

Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend Benjamin Maisani, co-owner of the gay bar Eastern Bloc, is opening a new joint called Atlas Social Club (A.S.C.) in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s being described as a:

“gay speakeasy and a retro athletic club…” with old boxing, wrestling and bodybuilding photographs to be displayed inside.

So basically its clientele will be comprised of 99% gay 1930s ghosts with handlebar moustaches and old-fashioned wrestling outfits and 1% my friend Michael. Carry on. [Page Six]

Lady Gaga stars in a strange Kickstarter video to fundraise for the Marina Abramović Institute (you know, that obscure woman who is friends with Jay Z, I thinks she does performance art or something), which is “dedicated to the presentation and preservation of long durational work, including that of performance art, dance, theater, film, music, opera, and other forms that may develop in the future.”

In it, she does a series of Abramović-taught exercises, totally naked. [E!]

  • Ellen Kardashian, a Kardashian/alleged person, is suing Kris Jenner. TTYL, got to go start my internship at the bottom of the ocean. [TMZ]
  • Rihanna is being sued for only paying part of the check for her Gran Gran Dolly’s funeral. [TMZ]
  • As it turns out, despite rumors, Cory Monteith was hanging out with sober friends on the night of his death. [People]
  • The Ying Yang Twins (you know, “wait ’till you see my dick”) hired a Miley Cyrus-in-unicorn-onesie lookalike for their upcoming video. [TMZ]
  • Transgender TV/Internet personality B. Scott is suing BET for demanding that she change out of her dress and into men’s clothes before appearing as a style correspondent on the network. [E!]
  • That tiny viral video child Sophia Grace Brownlee has been cast as Red Riding Hood in Disney’s Into The Woods (co-starring such minor actors as Meryl Streep and Johnny Depp). [Gossip Cop]
  • Usher thanked everyone involved in his son’s rescue. [People]
  • Jennifer Aniston got her favorite maitre’d into a movie. [E!]
  • And stop fucking asking her about babies. She would really appreciate it. [Yahoo]
  • Geena Davis, now 57, put on her League Of Her Own uniform! [E!]
  • To paraphrase Forest Whittaker, being fake-married to Oprah is like staring at your vagina in a hand mirror: a grand and overwhelming experience. [People]
  • Lindsay Lohan avoided the L.A. premiere of The Canyons because she was afraid she’d fall off the wagon. Once again, I am proud! [People]
  • She maybe possibly had a relationship with a guy at Cliffside. [Radar Online]
  • Jane Fonda ordered $50 cheeseburgers at the hair salon. Snaps. [Page Six]
  • And the award for “most hilariously milquetoast/quietly sad reason to become engaged to someone” goes to Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock: “I can’t think of one bad thing about him.” [Us Weekly]
  • Lena Dunham spoke on behalf of potential New York Comptroller Scott Stringer, particularly on the high cost of living that is driving Our Generation’s artists away: “We can’t have this generation’s Patti Smith moving to Tampa.” [Page Six]
  • The ticcy dude from Third Rock From The Sun had a baby. Guys, the title means “Earth!!!11” [Us Weekly]
  • Owen Wilson awkwardly ate a dandelion greens salad in the middle of a fight between his billionaire art collector friend and a billionaire art dealer. Stars are just like us. [Page Six]
  • Headline of the day is “Tara Reid: Do Sharks and Whales Have Sex to Make Whale Sharks?” K bye. [Gossip Cop]
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