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Look, the mad king could change his mind, but we’re here to tell you that, on top of all the authoritarian bullshit, President Donald Trump said this week that he wants to slap gigantic tariffs on European wine, Champagne, and spirits. The move would be in retaliation for 50% European tariffs on U.S. whiskey and bourbon set to take effect on April 1, which the EU made in retaliation for Trump putting tariffs on European steel and aluminum. Got it?
On Thursday, Trump threatened a 200% tariff on wine and spirits if the EU didn’t remove its whiskey tariffs “immediately.” If the 200% tax comes to pass—because yes, tariffs are taxes—imported products would triple in price. As the Associated Press helpfully explained, “a previously untariffed $15 bottle of Italian Prosecco could possibly increase in price to $45.” Brunch devotees, beware. (Under a 50% tariff in Europe, a 30-euro bottle of bourbon could increase to 45 euros. Unsurprisingly, the distilled spirits industry is not happy with Trump.)
Trump claimed on Truth Social that such a move would be “great for the Wine and Champagne businesses in the U.S.” First of all, buddy, the U.S. can only make “sparkling wine.” And, as a reporter covering the beer industry observed, less demand for European wine could actually hurt the U.S. wine industry to due supply chain costs for distributors.
Counterintuitive, but: this will crush the US wine industry. Booze gets to market on distributors' trucks. These fleets need volume to run efficiently. Subtract EU wine from the equation & it no longer pencils out. Any gains from less competition would likely be paid back out in margin loss.
— Dave Infante (@dinfontay.com) 2025-03-13T15:06:48.048Z
A shop owner in New York state agreed. “This ongoing tariff war doesn’t just harm importers—it weakens domestic brands, disrupts distributors, and squeezes retailers who rely on global selections,” Holly Seidewand, owner of First Fill Spirits, a shop in Saratoga Springs, told the AP. “In the end, consumers will bear the brunt of it all.”
Laurent Saint-Martin, France’s foreign trade minister, noted how all of this is Trump’s fault, as he “is escalating the trade war he chose to unleash.” The Art of the Deal!!!!
In related news, a new CNN poll shows 56% of voters disapprove of how Trump is handling the economy, with 61% disapproving of his tariff policies specifically. The stock market has been tanking due to uncertainty associated with the chaos of Trump’s trade wars, plus his own unsettling statements. CNN writes: “The widespread selloff was mostly driven by anxiety about the impact of Trump’s tariffs. In an interview that aired Sunday, Trump said the U.S. economy would see ‘a period of transition’ and refused to rule out a recession.”
The business genius strikes again, and I may no longer be able to afford Côtes du Rhône for multiple reasons.
Trump-related barf:
- As a measles outbreak continues to spread, HHS Secretary and host body for a brain worm Robert F. Kennedy Jr. falsely claimed that Mennonite kids in Texas had been injured by vaccines and that severe measles cases mainly affected people who don’t have good nutrition or exercise regimens. [The New York Times]
- Relatedly, the National Institutes of Health, a sub-agency of HHS, will end research grants intended to help understand vaccine hesitancy and get more people to take shots. [Washington Post]
- Federal office buildings are filthy following mandated RTO because Trump failed to increase custodial budgets accordingly, with reports of clogged sinks, overflowing trash cans, and insufficient toilet paper. [The American Prospect]
- The Agriculture Department canceled $1 billion in programs that gave schools and food banks money to buy food from local farms and ranchers. How do Trump-voting farmers feel about this? [Politico]
- A Justice Department official said she was fired for refusing to recommend restoring the gun rights of disgraced actor and Trump supporter Mel Gibson. Gibson lost the right to own a gun after a 2011 domestic violence conviction. [New York Times]
- Trump referred to grassroots boycotts of Tesla, Elon Musk’s car company, as “illegal” (lol) and said he would label violence against Tesla dealers as “domestic terrorism” (lmao). [The Guardian/Reuters]
Non-Trump barf:
- California Gov. Gavin Newsom continued his slimy right-wing pandering ahead of a possible 2028 run by welcoming as his second podcast guest none other than Steve Bannon. [NOTUS]
- A New Hampshire law requiring voters to prove U.S. citizenship was predictably a pain in the ass for women who changed their last names after getting married. There is a bad federal bill called the SAVE Act that would do the same thing nationwide. [NHPR]
- The mayor of Miami Beach is trying to evict an independent theater from a city-owned building after it screened No Other Land, the Oscar-winning documentary about Israel’s displacement of Palestinians in the West Bank. [Miami Herald]
- This week in deranged Musk tweets: He called Sen. Mark Kelly (D-Ariz.) a traitor for visiting Ukraine and retweeted Holocaust denialism. [ABC News/Bluesky]
- McLaurine Pinover, the chief spokesperson for the Office of Personnel Management, got caught posting outfit videos from her office, a no-no because she was making money with affiliate links. [CNN]
- Former Barack Obama staffer and former Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel is toying with running for president. [Politico]
This has been your weekly Barf Bag, thanks for reading!
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