Republicans Convinced Boogeyman Hunter Biden’s Conviction Is a Vast Conspiracy

Barf Bag: Is Joe Biden a doddering old man or a genius playing four-dimensional chess? It can't be both!

Politics
Republicans Convinced Boogeyman Hunter Biden’s Conviction Is a Vast Conspiracy

Welcome back to Barf Bag. 

Democratic failson Hunter Biden was convicted on Tuesday morning of lying about his drug use on a form when buying a gun in 2018; he’ll be sentenced sometime in the coming months. You’d think Republicans would be overjoyed at this news given how much they hate Hunter, but they are not celebrating. That’s because Hunter’s guilty verdict deflates their talking points about Donald Trump‘s recent conviction—that the justice system is corruptly targeting Republicans, and President Joe Biden is pulling the strings.

That narrative doesn’t hold up when it comes to Hunter. The person who investigated and charged him is a Trump-appointed U.S. attorney in Delaware named David Weiss whom Attorney General Merrick Garland elevated to special counsel. The president didn’t interfere in the process, and a jury still found Hunter guilty. (Also: Democratic Sen. Robert Menendez of New Jersey and Democrat Rep. Henry Cuellar of Texas have both been charged with crimes!!)

No, their message only would have worked if Hunter had been acquitted. So instead, Republicans are trying to spin the whole thing into a vast conspiracy in which Biden wanted his son charged for these crimes and not other ones. Sorry, but is Biden a doddering old man or a genius playing four-dimensional chess? It can’t be both!

Before the jury even returned a verdict, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) was peddling nonsense. She wrote on Sunday: “The DOJ is ‘prosecuting’ Hunter Biden on gun charges and trying to create sympathy for Joe Biden.” OK!

Here is Ohio’s GOP Senate nominee Bernie Moreno saying Hunter faced charges on domestic, not foreign, activity in order to protect his dad. (Reminder that an FBI informant was charged with fabricating a multimillion-dollar bribery scheme related to Hunter’s work on the board of Ukrainian energy company Burisma.) Ohio Sen. J.D. Vance (R) quoted Moreno’s post with a finger pointing down as if to say “this.”

 

Racist ghoul Stephen Miller claimed the Justice Department is “running election interference for Joe Biden.”

Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk said “This is a fake trial trying to make the Justice system appear ‘balanced.'”

Meanwhile, the Trump campaign called the verdict “nothing more than a distraction from the real crimes of the Biden Crime Family.”

And here’s a candidate-replacement theory: Rep. Andy Ogles (R-Tenn.) suggested on Fox Business that the conviction could create “an opening” for Michelle Obama to replace Biden at the top of the ticket. (Oh my god that woman is never running for office, leave her alone.)

Conservatives frothing about Hunter Biden has consequences. A Texas man was charged with threatening to kill FBI agents following the verdict, reportedly because he believed the government was covering up more crimes.

Anyway, I think the real reason Republicans hate Hunter is because his father has loved him through his years-long addiction struggles and they know it makes Trump look like a very shitty dad in comparison. Happy Father’s Day!


  • Speaking of Trump’s conviction, he called House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) to demand help in overturning it. One way that could happen? A bill that would allow presidents to transfer any state-level charges to federal court, clearing the way for a pardon. [Politico/The Hill]
  • During a Las Vegas rally in 100-degree heat, Trump told attendees to ask for medical help if necessary because “We need every voter. I don’t care about you. I just want your vote.” He claimed he was joking but you know he’s not. [Associated Press]
  • Rudy Giuliani‘s mug shot from his Arizona election interference charges is truly a sight to behold. [CNN]
  • After the Rupert Murdoch-owned Wall Street Journal published a long story questioning Biden’s mental acuity, dozens of local news stations owned by Sinclair Broadcast Group covered the piece with a remarkably similar segment. And it’s not the first time the right-wing broadcaster has boosted the GOP! [Popular Information]
  • Sean Hannity claimed that Democrats are pandering to young voters with promises of free beer, free birth control, and free college tuition. If only. [Mediaite]
  • Minnesota Senate candidate and former Barf Bag subject Royce White posted a map he said showed crime in Minneapolis, when in fact it was a map of drinking fountains. [Twitter]
  • Georgia congressional candidate and convicted insurrectionist Chuck Hand walked out of a televised debate after his opponent brought up his (now-dismissed) charges for criminal trespassing and DUI. [NBC News]
  • Vomitous headline: “A Florida school district banned a book about banned books” [Washington Post]

This has been your weekly Barf Bag, thanks for reading! 

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