The Bates Family Are Like the Duggars Only, Uh-Oh, They Also Sing


The United Bates of America — a show that, like its nightmarish predecessor 19 Kids and Counting, follows a long haired lady and her moon-faced husband on their quest to fill the world with their white, blond, Christian children — premieres on TLC this upcoming Monday and, as a part of their promotional tour, all 21 members of the Bates family (A.K.A. The Duggars 2: Electric Boogaloo) traveled from rural Tennessee to the mean streets of New York City.

While in New York, the Bateses stopped by GMA to discuss The United Bates of America and what it’s like to be a part of such a big family. If one word came up a lot, it was “fun.” Grocery shopping? “Fun!” Doing the laundry? “Fun!” Being surrounded day and night by your own bloodline and only having time to yourself when you sneak into the woods (where even the trees have eyes)? “FUN.” If the children’s words and frozen smiles are to be believed, growing up in the Bates house is one big Bible-thumping carnival where you don’t even need to buy a ticket — you get a lifetime’s worth of free admission just for being one of 19 who clawed their way out of their mother Kelly Jo’s birth canal.

Speaking of, Kelly Jo, who, along with her husband Gil, is a big believer in the Quiverfull movement, she says 19 kid just might not be enough:

“We are content, whatever the Lord wants to give us. If he would like to give us more, we would definitely welcome it to the family… That would be a blessing.”

That muffled wail you just heard? You didn’t imagine it. It’s her war-ravaged vagina and uterus screaming for help.

None of this creepy enough for you? Don’t worry (wait — definitely worry). The family also sings.

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