The Monsters at Teva Are Encouraging You to Wear Socks With Sandals

Red alert, red alert: The fugly shoe trend has gone too far and it must be neutralized immediately. In a horrifying development, Teva has decided to make an asset of its association with hippie nerds and is now actively encouraging people to combine socks and sandals. Evacuate sectors five through eight; I’ve got orders to seal this facility immediately.

WWD points out that Teva isn’t merely standing around and waiting for the ugly sandal profits to roll in. Their website now features an entire goddamn LOOKBOOK offering guidance on how to “pull off” this “statement style.” Here is an instructional YouTube video with “celeb-stylist” Elizabeth Stewart:

Look, we’ve covered this before: Socks with sandals are simply not acceptable. You wear sandals because they don’t require socks and therefore you avoid foot sweat. The best reason to wear Tevas is that you’ve embarked on a two-week kayaking trip and you need submergible shoes that dry quickly. Socks, again, defeat the entire purpose.

Teva’s promises about how this is a cool edgy look change nothing. Unless you are a very specific brand of conventionally attractive person, if you attempt this look, you’re gonna look like a giant dork. If you’re cool with that, fine, just don’t buy the high-fashion ironic bullshit they’re peddling.

Anyway, if for some reason these sartorial shenanigans appeal and you enjoy wasting your fucking money on butt-ugly nonsense, the company has also teamed up with Woolrich to offer matchy-matchy $65 sock-and-sandal sets, available online and… wait for it… Urban Outfitters.

Image via Teva