They Let The Right Dog Win


Last night, a four-legged Q-tip named Flynn won best in show at the 142nd Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. He’s a cocky little son of a bitch, but he deserves it.

Flynn’s win was announced to a “stunned silence;” the crowd likely rapt at his beauty, grace, elegance, and the fact that his head looks like a perfectly round cotton ball, with two twinkly obsidian gems for eyes. Unfortunately, I was not able to watch Flynn’s ascent to the throne because I do not have cable and was watching Olympic snowboarders rip sick trips on the half-pipe, but all I need to know about this beast is that he’s SO handsome and VERY fluffy and he fucking knows it.

Here’s Flynn’s personal power song— a message to the haters that were pulling for the giant schnauzer or the Norwich terrier, or the rotund pug. Press play and rejoice.

Who’s a good boy?

Who’s a fluffy handsome? Who’s little body looks like its made of marshmallows and fairy shits?

Noted animal lover Rich Juzwiak offered the highest marks for Flynn. “Pretty good…for a Bichon,” he told me. Given a Bichon’s reputation as being a hypoallergenic ball of yap with runny eyes, I’d have to say that that’s pretty accurate. Look at this guy.

Flynn wins. Flynn deserves it. I love him. Thank you.

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