Trump: A Category 5 Hurricane? I Don't Know Her

Trump: A Category 5 Hurricane? I Don't Know Her
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Donald Trump, a man who has been President of the United States during several Category 5 hurricanes, is not sure he’s ever heard of one.

“I’m not sure that I’ve ever even heard of a Category 5,” CNN reports Trump said, at a FEMA briefing re: Hurricane Dorian (which has just been downgraded to a very strong a Category 4 hurricane, but not before hitting Grand Bahama Island at full 5 strength) on Sunday. “I knew it existed,” (well, good), “And I’ve seen some Category 4’s. But a Category 5 is something that — I don’t know that I’ve ever even heard the term other than I know it’s there.”

It’s unfortunate that Trump’s never heard the term, considering he’s been in the Oval Office for not one, not two, not three, but a total of FOUR Category 5 hurricanes—Irma, Maria, Michael, and now Dorian. One would hope he’d remember at least one of those (like maybe the one he spent a year tweeting about), but I guess it’s hard for him to remember stuff if Fox News isn’t whispering it directly into his ear every night.

In fact, it turns out Trump has repeatedly forgotten about Category 5 hurricanes, and, like Drew Barrymore in the acclaimed cinematic picture 50 First Dates, has to be reminded constantly that they exist and also that he is responsible for allocating federal aid to those affected by them:


Category 5 hurricanes are, per Trump’s own words, “big stuff,” and the damage Dorian’s wreaked in the Bahamas is extremely devastating. Dorian’s still churning over Grand Bahama Island, now at a Category 4, and could pass by Florida somewhere between a Category 3 or 4 hurricane tonight, making its way up the coast to the Carolinas at a Category 2. Someone tell Trump to make sure he has enough paper towels for everyone.

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