What Else Is Jane Goodall Hiding?

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What Else Is Jane Goodall Hiding?
Prince Harry and Jane Goodall Image: (Getty Images)

Are you familiar with Prince Harry? Have you heard of Meghan Markle? Perhaps you might know they have a son, Archie. Could you perhaps also possibly be aware they have left England and renounced their status as royals? If not, well, now you are, and if you were also previously unaware, allow me to inform you that whole ‘renouncing their status as royals’ thing was like a really, really big deal. Pretty much everyone was shocked. Shocked! Everyone, it turns out, except Jane Goodall, who apparently knew it the whole time.

Talking to the Daily Mail’s Weekend Magazine, Goodall says that during an interview with Prince Harry during the summer of 2019, he basically told her that he and Meghan were really to call it quits with the Queen, chuck the deuces, and get the hell outta there. Okay, maybe not exactly that, but he did suggest to her that he and Meghan had plans outside of the royal tradition for their son.

“I made Archie do the Queen’s wave, saying, ‘I suppose he’ll have to learn this,’” Goodall told the magazine, “Harry said, ‘No, he’s not growing up like that.’” Six months following their conversation, Harry and Meghan rocked the commonwealth by announcing they planned on stepping down as senior royals. Personally, I love the visual of the media absolutely erupting in chaos and conflama while Jane Goodall sips a cup of tea in her cottage (I’m just assuming it’s a cottage here) and switches off the news, saying quietly to herself, “Oh yes, he did mention something about that a while back, didn’t he?”

Now, I can’t help but wonder what other information Goodall has been privy to over the years that she’s just kept to herself because she’s a decent and respectable person, unlike me, who is a messy bitch that lives for the drama. For example, did she know that Geri was leaving the Spice Girls? Okay, to be honest, that’s really the only bit of gossip I’d be curious to know if Goodall had in the vault prior to the rest of us finding out, but if no one has asked her about Jimmy Hoffa, it’s probably worth a shot! [Page Six]

If you, like me, completely forgot that today was Easter Sunday, allow me to remind you. Today is Easter Sunday! He is risen indeed, or whatever. As a lifelong CEO Catholic (Christmas and Easter Only), I do feel a little sad to not be putting on some kind of vaguely pastel ensemble and walking into a church today just to prove that it’s possible for me to do so without bursting into flames, but alas, much like Jesus, I’ll probably have another shot at it someday.

If you happened to be a little more convicted about attending a Sunday service, worry not, Kanye West has you covered. West recorded a special Easter performance with his Sunday Service Choir for Rich Wilkerson Jr., who was the officiant at his wedding to Kim Kardashian. The performance will likely be available pretty much all over the internet as Wilkerson Jr. is streaming his sermons on YouTube, Facebook, and on his church’s website. Thank God!

Hopefully, this won’t upset Joel Osteen, one of West’s BFFs, as West recently pulled out of performing during Osteen’s Easter Sunday service, according to TMZ. While West’s Sunday Service Choir prerecorded themselves for Wilkerson Jr., when they got together to rehearse for Osteen’s service, of course wearing masks and all standing six feet apart, West apparently no longer felt comfortable with the whole thing and shut it down.

Thankfully, social distancing protocols will not get in the way of Mariah Carey performing or Tyler Perry jumping in to speak for a bit during Osteen’s service. Also not getting in the way for Osteen’s rich and famous friends is his ridiculous evangelizing of the prosperity gospel or his anti-LGBTQ sentiments. Amen! [Page Six]

Brandi Glanville is drunk and filming Cameos which, unfortunately, I cannot look away from!

  • Nancy Meyers will not submit to streaming! [Page Six]
  • Ja Rule is making masks y’all [Page Six]
  • Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani are doing their best [People]
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