White House Sad


After Donald Trump’s horrible improv show last week, in which he YES-AND’d the shit out of performance partner/Russian President Vladimir Putin, White House morale has apparently tanked. Poor things!

“People are just depressed,” one source told Politico. While the Trump administration is pushing people out faster than white gentrifiers flocking to Brooklyn, “Nobody wants to take on the public heat of resigning right now, but there are a bunch of people who were thinking maybe they’d leave after the midterms who are very seriously starting to consider accelerating their timetable.”

The people who agreed to work for a man who says he likes to grab women by the pussy, called for a “total and complete ” Muslim ban, and endorsed putting toddlers in cages have just now reached their breaking point.

The last time White House morale was this low, according to Politico, white nationalists marched in Charlottesville and Donald Trump claimed that “both sides” were responsible for the violence of neo-Nazis and white supremacists. Somehow, morale had lifted since then—at least a little bit. Sigh. Commitment to Trump’s racist agenda requires sacrifices.

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