White Supremacist Statues Can Fuck Off and Die, Taylor Swift Says

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White Supremacist Statues Can Fuck Off and Die, Taylor Swift Says
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During one of the Black Lives Matter protests in Nashville last week, demonstrators toppled a statue of an historical racist shithead that had stood near the Tennessee State Capitol since 1927. While dummies and fuglies who want to suck statue dick bemoaned the loss of their precious white supremacist monument, Taylor Swift says, “Why, that’s just great.” I mean, I’m paraphrasing, but that’s basically how she feels.

In a Twitter thread posted Friday afternoon, the pop-country superstar broke down why Edward Carmack, the deceased newspaper editor and politician that the statue depicts, is not worth honoring and why every monument to a dead white person who spent their lives terrorizing Black people should be torn down like Carmack’s was.

“Edward Carmack’s statue was sitting in the state Capitol until it was torn down last week in the protests,” wrote Swift. “He was a white supremacist newspaper editor who published pro-lynching editorials and incited the arson of the office of Ida B. Wells (who actually deserves a hero’s statue for her pioneering work in journalism and civil rights). Replacing his statue [which the state has said it will do] is a waste of state funds and a waste of an opportunity to do the right thing.”

“As a Tennessean, it makes me sick that there are monuments standing in our state that celebrate racist historical figures who did evil things,” she continued,” she continued. “Taking down statues isn’t going to fix centuries of systemic oppression, violence, and hatred that Back people have had to endure but it might bring us one small step closer to making all Tennesseans and visitors to our state feel safe—not just the white ones. We need to retroactively change the status of people who perpetuated hideous patterns of racism from ‘heroes’ to ‘villains.’ And villains don’t deserve statues.”

Swift closed her thread by asking the Capitol Commission and the Tennessee Historical Commission to a) not replace Carmack’s statue, remove the state’s remaining monuments to white supremacists like former Klan wizard Nathan Bedford Forrest, and to stop honoring such historical figures going forward.

Speaking of tearing down racist statuary, a buncha Britney Spears fans want to replace all the Confederate monuments in Brit’s home state of Louisiana with statues of the “Gimme More” singer herself.

According to Hollywood Life, the Britney Army has been circulating a Change.org petition that already has about 14,000 signatures on it—just a thousand shy of its 15,000 signature goal.

Personally, I think we should probably put a moratorium on constructing any statues of white people for at least a couple hundred years, just to be safe. I believe it was Howard Zinn who once said that “celebrating individual historical figures rather than the collective masses is b-b-b-bad,” and that should probably go double for white people, considering the irreparable stains we’ve left on history over the course of our past few centuries in power. But if we haaaaaave to build another statue of a white person, Britney’s probably the best candidate, right? Maybe, instead of a statue of Ms. Spears, we could instead construct a multi-sensory soundscape recreating the moment the lights went off at one of her concerts and, unknowingly mic’d, she said, “My pussy is hanging out!” Please. Let me speak.

Gwyneth Paltrow says that the coronavirus pandemic—which has resulted in the deaths of more than 400,000 people worldwide, nearly a quarter of which were in the United States—has been great for her, personally. Why? Because Madam Goopina has spent her whole time in quarantine just realizing stuuuuuff and realizing thiiiiiiings, much like Kylie Jenner circa the entirety of 2016.

“I had not realized how much the normal pace of life was overburdening our bodies, our minds, and our nervous systems,” Paltrow told Shape during her newly released July/August cover interview. “Now, I feel different, letting my body go to sleep and wake up in its natural rhythm, having my kids around all the time, eating meals together and having meaningful conversations. We linger at the table; our dinners are an hour and a half long. My heart feels fuller, and my mind feels calmer in that respect.”

Something, something, class war, something.

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