Will Somebody Please Hang Out With Dev Patel on His Birthday?

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Dev Patel’s birthday is coming up, but instead of forcing his friends to spend an evening in the backyard of a bar and then diving under a table when they try to sing “Happy Birthday” to him, he has opted to contemplate his own mortality without the help of a single human being.

Page Six spoke to Patel about his impending 29th birth anniversary—April 23, to be exact—and it was really fucking depressing. “I won’t do anything special to celebrate the special day,” he said. “I’ll be by myself. Maybe do something nice. Or hide altogether. I usually spend it alone.”

As a Taurus, Patel is likely stubborn and determined, so I imagine no amount of cajoling will convince him that the only way to mark the passage of a year on Earth is with at least ten friends, five tequila shots, and a next-day hangover vicious enough to remind you that you are now too old to drink.

Still, if you happen to see Patel on April 23, please insist ceaselessly that he let you hang out with him for at least a few minutes. Birthdays are best shared with friends and complete strangers who read celebrity blog posts on the internet, after all.

[Page Six]

Tyra Banks thinks that being smart is sexy. This is good! Tyra Banks also thinks that literally licking brains is sexy. This is weird! Isn’t this weird? I’m sorry, but it is weird.

I am not a neurologist but I am under the impression that brains are not meant to be licked. Sure, they look like giant wads of chewed gum, but the cerebral cortex does not take kindly to human saliva. Be smart! Be sexy! Be smart and sexy! But if you see an errant brain out there, do not rub your tongue on it, no matter what Tyra says.


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