You Absolute Jokers Better Not Make This Election Worse Than It Already Is

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Sherrod Brown should not run for president and neither should Michelle Obama, you absolute jokers. Go to bed! [New York Times]
• Andrew Yang promises to go away this election if he doesn’t win the Democratic nomination. [Washington Post]
• Lock her (Exxon) up! Lock her (Exxon) up! [NPR]
• Justin Trudeau is still the prime minister of Canada. [Politico]
• The annual ritual of figuring out if your insurance will be prohibitively expensive or not is another reminder of how desperately we need single payer now. There is no reason to live like this! [Associated Press]
• World is vampire, etc. [Washington Post]
• Quid pro no? Quid pro yes. [Politico]
• Ben Carson get out. [Washington Post]
• Chad Wolf get out. [NBC News]
• Nice to see Elizabeth Warren on the picket line with Chicago teachers:

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.