BLAKE LIVELY'S LIFESTYLE BLOG HAS ARRIVED

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On this blessed afternoon of July 21, 2014, the gates of heaven themselves have opened to bestow upon us answers to several of the questions that have been tormenting us, as a people, for weeks now. Questions such as, “What is a ‘Preserve’?” and “But how do I achieve a curated life?” and “Can I pull off a Navajo-blanket poncho over overalls?”

The answers to the first two queries can be found on the just-launched Preserve.us, which is Blake Lively’s new lifestyle website. The answer to third is no. You cannot.

On the homepage of Preserve.us, we are treated to a video about life, I guess, and dreams and stuff. It features an Alan Watts lecture that has a proven track record of successfully playing over uplifting montages, playing over an uplifting montage. Some images from said uplifting montage include: Blake Lively shaking her hair a bit in a car, a cook book, a woman painting the words “Amaze Balls” in glitter atop an impressionistic landscape, a dog with one eye licking its chops, some girl wearing a tattered American flag as a cloak running through a rainstorm.

For the less visual among us, there’s also an editor’s letter. In the letter, Blake Lively informs us that she’s hungry… “and not just for enchiladas.” In addition to enchiladas, she writes, she’s hungry for experience:

Everyone has a story to tell.
This idea is the cornerstone of Preserve.
So, here at Preserve, there are people, stories, essays, videos, and goods that hopefully inspire your home, your style, and your tongue. There’s expensive stuff. Inexpensive stuff. And everything in between. But their value, that’s up to you. We romanticize it, calling it treasure. What we’re simply saying is that we see their worth on every level.
The function of Preserve is part magazine, part e-commerce hub, part philanthropic endeavor and -above all- a place to showcase the power of imagination, ingenuity, quality, and (simply put) people.

She further clarifies that the purpose of Preserve is not to make jam, but rather to “preserve elements of what makes life beautiful to us.” Ah-ha.

As of now, Preserve is selling a crystal bowl, spoons, some thought bubbles with lights in them, luxury salt, a berry bowl, a $70 bow tie, and what appear to be the Traveling Pants, among other items. It seems that there’s an editorial portion as well, but I am extremely confused by the layout of Preserve. I did find this one article about how a fudge sundae is “a stratified glimpse into man’s desire hierarchy,” which says it was written, in part, by someone billed as “Him.” (my prime author suspects: Ryan Reynolds; that villain from the Powerpuff Girls.)

Also — according to the “Greater Good” section of the site, Preserve will donate 5% of every purchase towards “giving 5,000 children a meal, 2,000 children a blanket, and 2,700 children a warm hoodie.” Which is a noble cause and definitely more than I can say about my lifestyle website (my lifestyle website is just a link to this video of a monkey who loves Little Debbies and Italian food.)

So there you have it: Preserve. Best of luck on your voyages through this site.

Image via Preserve.us.

 
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