Kanye West Is a Humongous Loser

CelebritiesDirt Bag

When Kanye West woke up this morning (rubbing the diamond crust out of his eyes and yawning gold ribbon out of his previously snoring maw) (you know he snores), he probably didn’t expect a case of the Mondays to hit him. But West may need to check in with his pal Garfield for tips on how to handle the rest of the week, because monday, at least, has been a little unkind.

According to The Daily Beast, the person who owns Loser.com has used their considerable power (a url like that must cost a lot) to redirect all visitors typing the url out of boredom to Kanye’s wikipedia page. No reaction from Kanye yet, but The Daily Beast is certain that he’ll be furious. Probably not this week, though. Currently, West’s twitter page is a lovefest. A pretty aggressive lovefest, but a lovefest nonetheless. Although, to be fair, Kanye West gives out the best birthday shoutouts of all time (of all time!) [The Daily Beast]

Ellie Goulding, the best thing about the Fifty Shades of Gray soundtrack/franchise, is not very good at recognizing the people she takes photos with. After the singer snapped a photo with Taylor Swift and Mick Jagger, she tagged Keith Richards on Instagram, making it clear that the youth of today can’t identify the stars of yesteryear and that we are all getting older and dying; dying very slowly, yes, but dying nonetheless.

The post has since been corrected — without any mention of the mistake — and the person Goulding had hired to tag her photos (dream job, please call me if it is available) has likely been killed. Or worse, expelled fired. [Reddit]

  • Azealia Banks (that’s the one that’s not Iggy Australia, if you haven’t been following along) is quitting Twitter for lent. Even though she’s missed the beginning of lent. And even though she’s continued to tweet after the announcement. Is this how you do lent, because it always seemed harder in those books I read as a kid. [Gossip Cop]
  • Giuliana Rancic may have been angry at Zendaya because the latter auditioned for the former’s job when Rancic was “unsure” if she wanted to remain on the show. Who knows what’s true, but I’ll tell you one thing: Based on how many times I’ve written it in the past week, I will never forget how to spell “Giuliana” again. Test me. Come on! [Radar]
  • Hilary Duff has filed for divorce. There’s isn’t one emoji that could accurately describe what all the fans must feel right now. 🙁 Because she didn’t find love in the end? 😀 Because this probably means we’re getting a new album? Or the little smiling poop, because love is a steaming pile of bullshit? [Us]
  • Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry have a new baby boy! His name is Rhodes Emilio! Congratulations! I’m sorry, I just learned that this is the same Linda Perry of “What’s Up?” fame. How lucky did Sara Gilbert get? I wonder if she gets to hear that song live any time she wants, because she should be milking that for all it’s worth. [Us]
  • Britney Spears doesn’t know if she would marry her current boyfriend, but she loves him very much. Same. [E!]
  • Piers Morgan said some shit about Lupita Nyong’o. No one really cared. Par for the course. [TMZ]
  • I never believed bathing in the blood of virgins could keep one so young, until I saw this amazing photo of Mariah Carey. [ONTD]
  • Anna Wintour wants babies banned everywhere! (But she’ll start with Fashion Week.) [Dlisted]

Good evening! Here’s a little primer on how to keep your relationship in line.

Image via Getty

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