Missouri Gov. Eric Greitens Finally Resigns 

I’ve been sick in bed for 6 days but I can say with about 75% confidence that I am not hallucinating this!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Missouri Gov. Eric Greitens (R), a Pence ally, resigned today amid multiple criminal investigations and impeachment talk. Greitens was accused of sexual assault and blackmail by his former hairdresser, and is also being investigated for possible campaign finance violations. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
• Here’s another Stephen Miller profile for you, confirming, once again, that Stephen Miller is awful. Creepy, too, as one swell little anecdote shows: “This question, of how seriously to take Miller, carried over into his interactions with women—like when he approached a woman on campus who he knew disliked his politics and, apropos of nothing, said, ‘You and I would make beautiful babies together.’”
• Trump has reportedly told an “increasingly marginalized” Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross that he is “past his prime,” which is hilarious, because of course he is?!? (Wilbur Ross is 80.)
• Everyone please congratulate Ivanka Trump on her seven new trademarks in China! Inspiring! [CNN]
• A deep dive on the close relationship between TMZ’s Harvey Levin and Donald Trump. [The Daily Beast]

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

This has been Barf Bag.