Paula Deen Feels Like 'That Black Football Player Who Came Out'

By Callie Beusman  |  February 27, 2014 | 2:10pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag

Paula Deen‘s Sorry I’m A Racist tour is chugging along, leaving a thick trail of butter and delusional self-pity smeared across the countryside.

In her newest feat of stunning mental gymnastics, the disgraced chef has used an interview with People as a platform to compare herself to Michael Sam (the first openly gay prospective player in the NFL):

“I feel like ’embattled’ or ‘disgraced’ will always follow my name. It’s
like that black football player who recently came out. He said, ‘I just
want to be known as a football player. I don’t want to be known as a
gay football player.’ I know exactly what he’s saying. I’m fighting to
get my name back.”

“I wish people would stop constantly noting that I’m racist — just like THAT BLACK FOOTBALL PLAYER wishes people would stop constantly noting that he’s gay.” Um, ok, Paula. Pro-tip: it’s easier for them to move on when you don’t construct sentences like someone who is deeply uncomfortable with black people. [D-Listed]

Despite setbacks (such as the sentences that come out of Paula Deen‘s mouth), things are going pretty well, though: Deen will be opening a $20 million restaurant next to Dollywood. [NY Daily News]

According to the world’s worst confidant, Michelle Rodriguez believes that Cara Delevingne is “the One” and wants to settle down and start a family with her. Cara’s family is worried over the 14-year-age difference and also fears that Michelle might be a bad influence. Also, Cara is probably too busy modeling and making kooky faces in various glamorous locations to raise a child.

This is a dubious but beautiful tale. [Daily Mail]

Ellen Page and Julianne Moore are going to play a couple in an upcoming film, Freeheld, which is about a New Jersey detective who can’t assign her pension benefits to her partner after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Ugh, that sounds very good and horribly sad. Page says it’s her “dream” project. Yay! [E!]