Real Housewives Finale: Money Can't Buy You Bras


On last night’s season finale, loose ends and breasts were all left hanging, which means that next week’s reunion show should be epic. Did anyone make up since filming? Did Bethenny like Jill’s latkes? Will anybody put a brarawn?

After an entire season of Bethenny being confused and sad about her broken relationship with Jill, and repeated attempts to hash things out, Jill finally decided that she was ready to patch things up. Maybe it’s because she actually went out and found a hobby (cooking latkes) and realized Bethenny was right? Or maybe she just felt left out of the loop, which—it would seem for her—is a fate worse than being told to get a hobby.

So the ladies met up (for flat water?) at Le Cirque. The whole meeting was weird: it started off like a divorced couple agreeing to sit down and contemplate reuniting, and ended like a bad first date in which one person requested a second and the other didn’t know how to politely say no.

And then, it was the moment we’ve all be waiting for: The Countess Live! Although it seems as though she’s lip syncing (horribly), I think that the Bravo crew just wasn’t plugged into the audio, and just played her original track over the scene. I’m sure, live, she was lip syncing very well.

As the season progressed, I’ve grown to love me some Sonja. She fits in perfectly with these women:
1.) Calling people out on their stupid bullshit regarding stupider bullshit: Check
2.) Inserting herself into a bullshit argument about bullshit that has nothing to do with her own bullshit: Check
3.) Alcohol in hand: Check
4.) Immediately getting over all of the bullshit to make a toast: Check

But this really solidified my Sonja love:

She’s neither fishing for a compliment, nor looking for validation. Instead, she knows the answer and only wants to see if you do, too. Kinda like a teacher posing a question to a classroom. Her answer here was, “Because this dress is so old, it’s tight.” I’d have to say that it’s because the front part of the dress is missing.

Oh, and speaking of revealing things, Kelly showed her ass when she stated that she didn’t want to go to Ramona’s vow renewal because it “seemed so concocted” and because “17 is a really random number.” After she was through with making those judgments, she decided that she would not make judgments, and just go to the renewal (without an RSVP). She arrived to the ceremony with one of her tits hanging out, which Jill helped her fix.

Yesterday, Kelly posted a video on her YouTube account, as a precursor to last night’s finale, contradicting a season’s worth of shit-talking by saying nice things about her cast members. I love that she thinks that holding a puppy will make her likable.

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