Rich Man Defends City

By Rebecca Fishbein  |  August 24, 2020 | 11:45pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag
Rich Man Defends City
Image:Theo Wargo (Getty Images)

Jerry Seinfeld wrote a New York Times op-ed on Monday defending New York City’s honor against the “Why I’m Leaving New York” essay-writing masses. Why Jerry Seinfeld, who has probably ridden out much of the pandemic in his multimillion dollar mansion in the Hamptons, got to write this op-ed instead of me, who has ridden out none of the pandemic in a multimillion dollar mansion in the Hamptons and almost all of it in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, is a mystery, but fine.

The op-ed was specifically a rebuke of a very stupid LinkedIn (???) essay some comedy club owner ran earlier this month that was titled, “NYC IS DEAD FOREVER. HERE’S WHY.” (Reasons: pandemic, restaurants closed, homelessness, pretty much in that order ). The essay was whiny, rightfully pilloried on social media, and ended up going viral, I guess enough so that Seinfeld got involved.

“When I got my first apartment in Manhattan in the hot summer of 1976, there was no pooper-scooper law, and the streets were covered in dog crap,” Seinfeld opened. “I signed the rental agreement, walked outside, and my car had been towed. I still thought, ‘This is the greatest place I’ve ever been in my life.’”

Things certainly worked out for Seinfeld, who a quick Google tells me is worth $950 million and has probably not felt the brunt of the effects of the pandemic as much as, say, a worker in the hospitality industry who is now shit out of luck and stuck in an overpriced, undersized apartment with four roommates. Hell, Seinfeld isn’t even as fucked as a median New York wage-earner trapped in a small apartment with two small children who will probably soon get to bring bring covid home from school.

“Real, live, inspiring human energy exists when we coagulate together in crazy places like New York City,” Seinfeld writes. “Feeling sorry for yourself because you can’t go to the theater for a while is not the essential element of character that made New York the brilliant diamond of activity it will one day be again.”

The bad LinkedIn essay excoriated New York for the wrong reasons, but people who’ve been pushed out of New York aren’t necessarily leaving because they’re bummed the comedy clubs are closed. Human energy doesn’t bring down the cost of living. I’m a native New Yorker, and the first to jump to this city’s defense against people defecting to the suburbs. But I’m not entirely sure Jerry Seinfeld’s got his finger on the pulse. New York Times—let me write an op-ed instead. [New York Times]

Paris Hilton is freezing her eggs. Apparently, former assistant Kim Kardashian inspired her.

Just Jared reports:

“I had a really amazing conversation with Kim about it,” Paris, 39, revealed in the interview with the Sunday Times. “She introduced me to her doctor, and I was so inspired by her to actually do it.”
“I think every woman should do it because you can really control it and not have that ‘Oh my God, I need to get married,’” she added.

Not sure every woman can freeze their eggs, since the process costs thousands of dollars, but the sentiment is nice I guess. [Just Jared]

Leslie David Baker, i.e. Stanley from The Office, says he’s been bombarded with racist messages after speaking out in support of the Black Lives Matter movement. He told TMZ that Black actors who were critical of police violence against Black people are being told to “stick to acting,” and getting sent violent, racist messages and images of lynchings and Klan meetings.

He posted some examples on Instagram:

America 2020. [TMZ, Instagram]